Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
