god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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