I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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