3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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