We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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