she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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