Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just high enough for therapy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize