hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
