Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
