I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
