I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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