I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
