just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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