girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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