This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
