not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
