Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
