Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
