Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
