I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
