If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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