And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
