that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
