I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
