At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
