Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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