Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
