I don't usually arrange sex via text message
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Is it penis luge time yet?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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