you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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