OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
