grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
