addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
