I showed him my bush... on skype.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
