my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
