I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
