If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
