Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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