Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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