I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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