i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
