If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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