i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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