i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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