Define "chronic" masturbator.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You can't special order awesome
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
