i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize