I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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