I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
