If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In other news, I just burned my penis
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
