The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
