I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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