Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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