it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
