This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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