it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
