Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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