No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
