well you can't waste a boner
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
