I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
