my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
