he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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