ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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