i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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