You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
