I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
