i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize